i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
