if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
