what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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