Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
