why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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