i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
