So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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