...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
