I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
