Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
