I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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