We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
