I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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