It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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