when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
