It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
