Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
