Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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