my mouth tastes like poor choices
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
