need another drink. this is the easiest way
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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