I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
