I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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