SEEEEXXX PLEASE
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
