Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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