I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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