I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
