Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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