In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
