Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
