I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
