So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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