is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My nipple is on Facebook.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
