Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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