I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have tasted many bathrooms
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
