first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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