so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
