so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
