ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
