He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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