ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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