i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
