we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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