Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
