Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
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I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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