I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
