We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
