isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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