Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
