He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You made out with two different species that night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
