Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this just has baby written all over it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
