I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
