Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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