Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
