You really coming over, don't trick.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
