I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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