Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
