After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
