i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
