I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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