I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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