so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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