so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
