my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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