Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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